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  • Writer's pictureVariant Magazine

How to Treat Your Partner Based on Their Love Language

Updated: Oct 17, 2023

By Hannah Barrett, Blogger

Although Valentine’s Day is soon to be behind us, and we’ll no longer be surrounded by red hearts, roses and chocolate galore, that doesn’t mean you should stop striving to make your special someone feel loved and appreciated. Knowing and understanding your partner’s love language is essential in achieving this.

During the unique times we’re currently living in, it’s more important than ever to spread love and feel it back. If you do not know your partner’s love language, you can both take “The 5 Love Languages Quiz for Couples” here. Learning to express love in your partner’s language will not only make them feel valued, but it will improve your relationship as a whole.

Photos by Peyton Farrell / Edited by Madison Salyer / Models: Nick Thompson & Kayla Burke

Words of Affirmation

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, your reassurance means the world to them. Tell them something you love about them today or simply how much you appreciate them; never underestimate the power your words have on their heart. Make it a goal to remind them every day how much they mean to you. Even taking the time out of your busy schedule to leave them a handwritten note to find when they get home from work, or sending them a sweet text will go a long way.

Physical Touch

Unlike someone whose love language is words of affirmation, an individual who values physical touch above anything else appreciates physical displays of affection. This includes non-verbal body language and physical touch to emphasize your love. Don’t shy away from intimacy and work to make it a priority in your relationship.

If physical displays of affection typically make you uncomfortable, make an effort to go out of your comfort zone and try things such as holding your partner’s hand in public, embracing them in a big hug when you first see them or even offer to give them a back scratch after a long day. Once you take little steps to feel more comfortable with this, you can start displaying acts of physical affection regularly. Your partner will notice that you’re making an effort, and this will mean more than anything to them. On the other hand, remember that in your partner’s mind using physical affection to display their love will come the most naturally to them, so avoid receiving their affection callously.

Receiving Gifts

If your partner feels the most loved when they receive gifts from you, incorporate that into your relationship as well. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to constantly spend money on your partner; this can be achieved through simple acts of kindness that don’t require relying on the means of your bank account. Next time you go to the store pick something up that simply reminds you of them; this can be something inexpensive. Maybe you guys have an inside joke that you can translate into a gift for your partner, or if you take a trip to the grocery store, pick out their favorite snack and surprise them with it. Handmade gifts that are personable and special to both of you will mean the most to your partner. Even the smallest gestures matter in a tremendous way to this individual.

Quality Time

Between busy conflicting schedules and long days, if your person’s love language is quality time, it’s important to set aside time during the week to simply enjoy one another’s company. Sometimes this doesn’t just mean being in the same place at the same time; it means devoting your full attention to this person. Try picking a couple of designated nights during the week to both log off your socials and set aside the smartphones to really take in each other’s presence. Watch a movie with your ringers off, plan a day getaway to a place that means a lot to the both of you, or set aside time to partake in meaningful conversations. There may be things about your partner you still don’t know and asking them about their childhood, future dreams, or their biggest fear will show them how much you care.

Acts of Service

If your partner’s love language is acts of service, go out of your way to alleviate some of the stress that may come with their everyday routine. Let them know you’re in this together and you value your partnership. Offer to help them out in any way you can, whether it be a simple task such as completing household chores or something more time consuming like a work or school project they’re struggling with. Surprise them by making their favorite meal for dinner, or bring them breakfast in bed one day. This won’t go unnoticed. When you offer these acts of service make sure to follow through with them and incorporate action phrases into your everyday vocabulary.

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